The Kissing Man Dream (and What AI Said About It)
Back in November, I had a very vivid dream about kissing an unknown man. There was nothing else around us, no background or objects, just a shadowy figure I was locking lips with. Intensely tingly. Intensely passionate.
As we kissed, I remember thinking in my lucid state, "Is it you?"
..."Is it you?"
..."Is it you?"
The same question, over and over.
And then I woke up. I always have my most colourful dreams right before waking, possibly thanks to a longer REM period. This is also almost the only time that I ever actually remember my dreams to any degree. Usually, the memories are gone within seconds of realizing it's morning, but this one stuck with me.
So, like any good Samaritan nowadays who wants to know more about their sleep patterns and just about anything else, I turned to AI.
I've been using AI for a while now as a sort of pseudo-psychotherapist. Not often, but usually when I'm swinging between difficult thoughts.
I'm not oblivious that AI just takes your dump of information, mixes it with other's, and regurgitates it in a way that makes sense to you, inputting some statistics and apologies along the way. I take it with a grain of salt, but it sure is cheaper than spending $120/hr on a real therapist – trust me, as someone who was in psychotherapy for 1.5 years, those bills stack up fast.
AI has proven useful in helping me figure out what I really want between two choices, for example.
But this dream. The kissing man dream. I had no idea what it meant.
I thought at first it might be about finding a true partner, but while ChatGPT indicated it could be a sign of "emotional readiness" and "romantic yearning" (not that I'm super interested in love right now) my further explanations led it to conclude that it wasn't about romance at all.
Self-exploration: The unknown man might not represent an actual person, but rather a part of yourself — confidence, passion, vulnerability — that you’re starting to connect with or embrace.
Would you like me to explore what it might mean symbolically in terms of where you are emotionally or in your life right now?
Where I am right now...
Well, that's a loaded question. I'd torn what remained of my first ACL graft over the summer. I was trying to figure out how (and whether) to continue training as a dancer and how to make that dancer career take off again after years of a sort of "hiatus." I wanted to know where to move to. I'd also separated from my first boyfriend back in April. There was a lot going on – but then again, I'm one to always have a lot going on.
I gave ChatGPT the short version, and this is what it said:
Here’s how the themes might tie together:
- The kiss and tingling feeling could symbolize reawakening — a return to vitality, sensuality, or creative passion after a long period of strain and uncertainty. It’s as though your psyche is reminding you that you can still feel deeply alive and connected, despite the setbacks.
- Not knowing who the man is might reflect uncertainty about your future — not just romantically, but creatively and geographically. You’re in a place of transition, and your dream could be portraying the unknown itself as something magnetic, even exciting.
- Asking “is he the one?” might be your deeper self asking, is this the right path, the right city, the right life I’m building? It’s the same yearning for clarity, but applied to your direction rather than just a person.
- The passion and surrender in the dream can mirror your dancer’s instinct — that physical-emotional fusion that happens when movement or connection feels natural, true, and free. It could be your subconscious expressing the desire to move fully again, to be in your body without fear or limitation.
If you want, we can explore what this dream might suggest about your next step — whether in healing, dance, or love — almost like reading it as guidance from your creative self. Would you like that?
Yes.
Beautiful — let’s look at your dream as if it were your deeper self trying to give you a message about where to go next.
🌙 What the dream may be telling you
1. “The tingles” — your body wants to come alive again.
That full-body energy could be your spirit saying: “Don’t give up on movement.” Even if your ACL recovery feels uncertain, your body still remembers joy, rhythm, and connection. The tingles might represent your creative life force asking to flow again — maybe through dance, maybe through a new way of expressing it. Healing might not mean returning exactly to what was, but letting your artistry evolve with your body.
2. “Is he the one?” — you’re searching for alignment, not just romance.
You’re at a crossroads — with love, geography, and career. The dream’s question could be your inner voice asking, “Is this the right fit for who I’m becoming?” It’s not only about finding a partner, but also the right environment — a city, community, or artistic space where your energy tingles in the same way: where you feel that spark of yes, this feels right.
3. The unknown man — the future version of you.
Dream figures can represent parts of ourselves. This man might be a symbol of your future self — confident, open, ready to love and to move again. Kissing him could mean uniting with that version of you, saying yes to growth and transformation.
4. Passion — permission to desire again.
In the wake of injury and heartbreak, it’s natural to go numb for a while. This dream’s passion could be a form of emotional rehabilitation: a gentle reminder that desire — for touch, dance, success, connection — is still alive in you, waiting to be embraced without fear or guilt.
🌱 The guidance underneath
If you distill the dream’s energy into a message, it might be something like:
“You’re ready to reawaken. Let your body heal, but also let your heart lead you toward what makes you feel alive again — in movement, in love, in place.”
That could mean trying a slower, gentler form of dance training, or exploring where your art and your next home can nurture rather than drain you. It’s okay that the path isn’t clear yet — the tingles show that the spark is returning.
Would you like me to help you interpret how this dream might guide your practical next moves — like choosing where to live or how to continue training without reinjury?
Yes.
🌍 1. Choosing where to live: follow the “tingle” test
That sensation in your dream — warmth, energy, a sense of this could be the one — is a surprisingly useful compass.
Ask yourself about each city or training environment you’re considering:
- Do I feel a quiet yes in my body when I imagine myself there?
- Can I picture myself moving, creating, connecting there?
- Does it feel open and alive — or heavy and obligatory?
You’re not looking for the perfect place; you’re looking for resonance. The same spark you felt in the dream will likely arise when you’re close to the right environment for your next chapter.
💃 2. Training again after your ACL tear: rebuild, don’t rush
Your dream’s sensuality is about trusting your body again. Healing an ACL—especially a second one—requires patience, but it doesn’t have to mean losing your dancer identity. Some ideas:
- Work with dance physiotherapists or somatic coaches who focus on artists rebuilding post-injury. They’ll help you rewire muscle memory safely.
- Explore alternate styles or modalities while strengthening: contemporary, floorwork, Gaga movement, or improvisation — all can keep you expressive without high-impact strain.
- Reframe progress: Instead of measuring by technical benchmarks (“Can I do jumps yet?”), measure by flow: “Do I feel pleasure in my movement again?”
Think of this as not just physical rehab, but creative reconditioning.
💫 3. Career direction: lean into what feels like connection, not competition
Your dream wasn’t about performing for an audience — it was about feeling deeply connected. That’s your north star.
So ask:
- Do I want to dance for others, or with others — to collaborate, choreograph, teach, or fuse dance with another artform?
- Which parts of the dance world make me feel most myself rather than most proven?
The answer will tell you where your dancer career naturally wants to expand.
❤️ 4. Love life and creative life are intertwined right now
The dream’s passion might be encouraging you to stay open rather than to rush back into attachment. Your body is healing physically and emotionally; both need softness and curiosity.
Let new connections mirror that: people and places that make you feel safe to exhale.
🕊️ In short
Your dream seems to say:
“Move toward what feels alive. Let healing be an act of passion, not punishment. You’re not rebuilding the old life — you’re kissing the new one awake.”
Wow.
This might be one of the most encouraging chats I've ever had with AI. Many of the ideas and steps it presents, I've known in my heart for a while (like seeking out somatic rehabilitation and prioritizing pleasure and progress over perfection), but having them essentially validated – even if the other party is a database bot – makes things feel that much clearer.
What ChatGPT said can apply to anyone who's been searching for direction. It mentioned an important thing: your north star. Your guiding light. Be the sailor of your own life. Choose the nourishment that makes you say, "yes."
My Hopes for the New Year
The truth is, I've been drifting for a long time. Ever since my first ACL tear and the string of trauma-inducing events that followed in the years since, I've felt myself float further and further away from the dance hustler I was.
There's something to be said for not waking up sore and stiff in the mornings, and the lazy side of me indulged in it. Then there was the familial pressure to "find a real job," which has only increased in noise since my injury. But I couldn't do it. I can't. My soul is made to move and heal, not sit in an office chair for eight hours a day.
Despite the setbacks, I want nothing more than to dance my dance again. I've been wondering if that "lazy" side of me, the part that avoids dragging myself through the mud just to attend a one-hour dance class downtown, is actually a symptom of procrastination. Procrastination that bares its fangs not because of an innate nature to be a couch potato but because I am scared.
I've lived with a lot of fear for far too long. Fear of being stalked, fear of not being "successful" enough. And even though much of that fear had subsided over the past few years, the prongs of competitive stress forked it up again.
I saw other people doing the things I wanted to do, and I wanted it. I need it.
But I was also so f*ckin' tired. I burned myself out consistently when I was in my hustle years, and the combination of stretching myself thin and trying to do so much is one factor for my first ACL tear. Still, I feel a calling in my heart to dance again. To show the world that I was, am, and always will be a dancer.
It might be a very different path than the one I was used to, and I'll likely have to come to terms with some perfectionist ideals, but I need to do this. For myself.
Consider this my fight song.
To face the new year with courage, hope, and clarity.
To push through all the boring gym exercises in order to move like I want to.
To express myself wholly, authentically, and passionately to anyone who will listen or watch in our brevity of life.
To find fulfilment in myself and the talents I bring to the world.
To dance toward my future with all that I am, knowing no one can ever be me.
To look to the deepest parts within me to guide my every step.
I am. And that is success.
So there is nothing to fear because success is already within me.
Curiosity. Passion. Pleasure. Let this be my mantra.
🕊️ If we distill all this into one line of guidance:
Your new direction is wherever your body feels safe enough to open and your spirit feels curious enough to play.
